The Irken Survival Experiment

Months 1-3

Dib: Hello, and welcome to the all new series, The Irken Survival Experiment! On this show, three teams must make their way through the harsh climates of Narmoria to the assigned meeting spot while at the same time, surviving. The teams are given —

(Zim grabs Dib by the collar)

Zim: Hurry up with the narrorating, Dib-stink, and go on to ZIIIIM!

(Dib swipes Zim's arm away)

Dib: Wait a minute, ZIM!

(Dib adjusts his shirt)

Dib: As I was (glares at Zim, who is offscreen) SAYING, the teams are given two bottles of water for each teammate, a cooler of frozen Irken meat, and a PAK full of everything they need to at least have a chance of surviving. NOW (glares at Zim again) for the teams.

The screen switches to an Irken symbol and the words TEAM 1 appear over it, then it shows the team's tent

Dib(V.O.): Team 1 is made up of Zim, Miz, and Tak.

(Zim comes on screen wearing a coat, scarf, hat, and well warm clothes)

(The words The Almighty Dumbest appears at the bottom next to his real name 'Zim')

Zim: Eh heh. Hi! Right now the weather where we are is very cold and icy. And um —

(Zim puts his face real close to the camera)

Zim: I WOULD LIKE TO SAY TO THE OTHER TEAMS. ZIIIIM WILL BEAT YOU! (manic laugh) YESSS! VICTORY FOR ZIIM! WE WILL —

(Miz sprays Zim with BBQ sauce from behind)

Zim: (screaming in pain) AGHHHHH! AGHHHH! THAT BURNS! AHHHH! IT HURTS! (runs around)

(The words Girl With A Low Temper But High Fever appears at the bottom next to her real name 'Miz')

Miz: (laughing) Oh hi! I'm Miz. Zim's girlfriend. And I would like to say —

(Zim is seen running in the back of her screaming and steaming)

Zim: (V.O.) AHHHH! IT HHHURRRTS!!!!

Miz: That Zim is an idiot. Thank you! (smiles while closing eyes)

(cut to Tak)

(The words Destroyer Of Zim appears at the bottom next to her real name 'Tak')

Tak: Hello. There's not really much to say instead for I wish the other teams good luck and I agree with Miz, Zim's an idiot!

Zim: (offscreen) Eh?

Tak: You're an idiot!

Zim: Eh?

Tak: YOU'RE AN IDIOT!

Zim: Eh?

Tak: GET YOUR ANTENNAE CHECKED YOU STUPID IDIOT!

Zim: Thank you!

Tak: (antennae lowered) I'll be right back.

(Screen cuts to an Irken symbol then the words TEAM 2 appear)

(A tent comes on screen)

Dib: On Team 2, we have Tenn, Liz, and Lyn.

(Tenn comes on screen wearing summertime clothes and sweating with a volcano behind her)

(The words Best Invader In Irken History appear next to her real name 'Tenn')

Tenn: It's really hot out here. My teammates and I are trying to keep cool but it's no use. It's burning over here! I just wanna say, good luck all. And I hope we can survive. Cut!

(Liz comes on screen and the words Zim's Friendgirl appears next to her real name 'Liz')

Liz: (working on her Zim scrapbook, but hides it once she realizes she's on) Oh, Hi! I just want to say hi to Zim, HI ZIM! (waves) and that WE'RE GOING TO WIN! VICTORY FOR TEAM 2!!!! (coughs) and that's all

(Lyn comes on screen the words Lyn loves Dib! appear next to her real name 'Lyn')

Lyn: Hi, I'm Lyn, and... uh... (turns around and sees words) Hey! Who put that there?!

(cut to RiRi, giggling madly)

Dib: (V.O., shocked) I — Uh oh! Yeah!

(An Irken symbol appears as TEAM 3 appears)

(We see black)

Dib: (V.O.) Uh — Team 3 is made up of Zor, Skoodge, and ŁîM.

(We see a pair of purple Irken eyes as the words Zim's Fake/Real Brother next to his real name 'Zor')

Zor: (V.O.) Uh — right now it's pitch dark nighttime and Skoodge and ŁîM are trying their best to get some sort of light. Good luck to us and the other teams! Invader Zor signing off.

Dib: (V.O.) You know, you don't have to end everything with Invader Zor signing off.

(The purple Irken eyes squint in a annoyed way)

Zor: (V.O.) Shut your yap, human!

(We see a pair of small ruby eyes as the words Could He Get Any Shorter?!? appear next to his real name 'Skoodge')

Skoodge: (V.O.) Oh eh, hello there. As you heard from Zor it's pitch dark at Nighttime Woods as we set up our —

(A crash is heard in the background as the group screams)

Skoodge: (sigh) Now ruined tent.

(We see a pair of cyan Irken eyes as the words Only Irken In Irken History With Blue Eyes appear next to her real name 'ŁîM')

ŁîM: Hello,I'm Invader ŁîM. Right now my team and I are struggling to get any light form at all. It's dark not one star is in the sky and the only thing visible is our bright Irken eyes. Mine being the brightest since they are unique. Invader ŁîM, signing off.

Dib: (annoyed) Do I even have to say it again? YOU AREN'T TALKING TO THE TALLEST! NOW STOP SAYING SIGNING OFF AFTER EVERYTHING! (calms down) Now back to Team 1.

Zim: I think we did pretty good at putting up our tent don't you think?

Miz: WE?!? You didn't do a single thing Zim!

Zim: I unfolded the instuctions.

Miz: -_- (sarcastic) Yes we could have never survived without you.

Zim: Thank you!

Tak: That was sarcasm you idiot!

Zim: I know.

(Tak looks at Miz questioningly)

(Switches to just Tak)

Tak: I swear if this was a 'vote someone off' sort of thing, I would vote Zim right off this planet!

(Screen switches back to normal)

(Zim, Miz, and Tak are sitting around a fire that is dying slowly because of the light snow)

Tak: Well I'm gonna go head out. You two lovebirds better get to sleep soon too, we have a long week ahead of us.

(Tak turns around)

(Screen switches to Zim and Miz sleeping on the ground near the fire)

(Tak looks at them cocking an eyebrow then turns back around heading inside of the tent)

(Meanwhile with Team 2)

Liz: Well we can't sleep in sleeping bags cause we're too hot. And we can't sleep on the ground cause it would burn us!!!

Lyn: What other choice do we have?

Tenn: SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU!

(Liz and Lyn look at Tenn questioningly)

Liz: (to Lyn) I think the heat is getting to her.

(Lyn nods)

Tenn: PICK ONE AND BE QUIET! I'M TRYING TO COOL DOWN HERE!

Liz: Let's just be thankful we don't have hair...

Lyn: Maybe, hopefully, by tomorrow it'll cool down. For now, we'll probably just have to sleep standing up.

Tenn: What are we, horses?

Lyn: -_- I would rather be with Dib right now.

Dib: (V.O.) I can hear everything you guys say, you know.

Lyn: o_o

(Meanwhile with Team 3)

(It's still dark)

(Purple, cyan, and ruby eyes appear)

ŁîM: (V.O., slightly annoyed) Still nothing?

Skoodge and Zor: (V.O., annoyed) Yep!

(The cyan eyes form a glare)

ŁîM: (V.O.) Aw, come on! There has to be something! None of you have a flashlight with you?!

Skoodge and Zor: (V.O.) Ohhhh!

ŁîM: (facepalm)

(Flashlights turn on and light sheds on them)

Zor: Wait...why don't you have one ŁîM?

ŁîM: I have one!

Zor: Why not use it?

ŁîM: I don't wanna waste the batteries!

Zor: You didn't pack any extra batteries or an extra flashlight?

ŁîM: This is a survival show, not camp Zor.

Zor: Whatever.

ŁîM: (Blinks) (Hug-attacks Skoodge) MY SKOOOOODGE.

Skoodge: Ehh....?

ŁîM: Sorry... you seem huggable.

(Team 1's tent comes on screen with the words Team 1: The Next Morning at the bottom)

(Zoom In inside the tent)

Tak: So we need to get to the Hidden Passageway. But how? Any ideas?

Zim: Metal detector?

Miz: (puches Zim hard in the arm)

Zim: Ow!

Tak: (glaring) I meant something that would actually work, Zim. Miz, you have any ideas?

Miz: (shakes head) Nope.

Tak: (sarcasm, mumbling) What a team. (facepalm)

Zim: I was only helping.

Miz: (raises eyebrow) Eh — eh anyways, it's hidden. How are we gonna find it?

Zim: You can't.

Miz: (almost punches Zim in the head)

Zim: (getting up from ducking) Hah! You missed!

Miz: For now.

Tak: You two! GET IT TOGETHER! IF WE WANT TO WIN THIS THING WE HAVE TO FOCUS!!!

(Zim and Miz both look at Tak)

Zim: (points at Tak) Who made you in charge!?!

Tak: Ever since we decided we wanted to survive!

Zim: I can do a better job than you, we could get out of this Passage Hiddenway faster then 3, 2, 1!

Miz: Zim's right! Except for what he just said—no one said you were gonna be the leader!

Zim: Yeah! (just realizes what Miz said) Wait—what???

Miz: (smiles guiltily)

Tak: Well, I'm the tallest of the group! (brings out spider legs from her PAK) And the Tallest always lead the group, Zim! (jabs Zim in the chest with one of her spider legs)

Zim: HEY!!! QUIT IT! And when did how freakishly tall you are get into this?!?

Tak: I am not freakishly tall! The Tallest are! I mean they aren't freaks. Forgive me, Tallests....And plus size always mattered with you Zim! You short little menace!

Miz: Hey! You don't call Zim a short menace! That's my job!

Zim: Yeah! (realizes again what Miz just said) HEY!

Tak: You shouldn't be talking too, Miz or should I say The Almighty Smallest Dumb! And (points at Zim) The Almighty Smallest Dumber!

Miz: Oh you're just asking to be lazered into a pile of green dust!

Tak: ARG!!! YOU TWO ARE LIKE LITTLE SISTERS!!! BOTH OF YOU SHUT-UP! OR I'LL SHUT THEM FOR YOU! (points two of her spider legs at Zim and Miz)

(Tak retracts her spider legs)

Dib (V.O.): Ehh — things aren't going so well with Team 1 right now so we'll catch up with them later now let's see what Team 2 are up to!

Tenn: Well, it looks like it's cooled down. (looks at Lyn) Hey, you have blue eyes!

Lyn: Oh well spotted.

Tenn: Grouch.

Lyn: Oblivious ditsy Irken.

Liz: *Sits in corner grumpily and watches the two* WILL YOU TWO BE QUIET! I DIDN'T GET A SECOND OF SLEEP! *rocks in the corner insainly*

Lyn: I don't sleep on a regular basis.

Tenn: No wonder you're so whiny.

Lyn: ._. How'd I even get sucked into this?

Dib: (V.O.) I told you to, remember?

Lyn: ..gee, thanks.

Liz: *loosing it* I TOLD YOU TWO TO BE QUIET! I'M ABOUT TO RIP OFF YOUR HEAD AND FEED THEM TO MY SIR! SO BE QUIET ALREADY!

Tenn: O.o Liz, I am going to say this as calmly and nicely as possible, BUT YOU'VE LOST IT!

Lyn: Gee, that was really nice. Look. If we want to do this thing, we can't keep bickering at each other, okay? It's counterproductive.

Liz: *clams down* Okay, you're right Lyn. If we want to win, we can't fight like the other teams.

Zim: (V.O) Other teams?!?!?

Dib: (V.O.) ZIM! GET OUT OF HERE!

Zim: (V.O.) SHUT IT DIB-WORM!!!

Dib: (V.O.) Alright you win carry on.

Zim: (V.O.) I have nothing else to say....

Dib: (V.O.) GET OUT OF HERE!

(Audience hears Zim screaming and Dib screaming)

Dib: (V.O.) Alright where was I oh yeah, Team 3!

(Team 3)

ŁîM: Fine, fine, I shall use my flashlight. But if the batteries die, I WILL COME TO YOUR TENT AT NIGHT AND THROTTLE YOU AND HACK AT YOUR MERE BODIES UNTIL YOU ARE GREEN MUSH (evil laugh) catergory: Stories